


Despair Reigns Supreme (or Tsumugi makes a Groupchat)

by SHSLUltimateBuggy0



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dangan Ronpa Fusion, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Dark Humor, F/F, F/M, Gay, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Mostly just humor, Multi, SO, im sorry i suck at everything UHYGT, lgbtq headcanons, like very gay, listen its a fic with kokichi in it, nsfw humor, some nsfw content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHSLUltimateBuggy0/pseuds/SHSLUltimateBuggy0
Summary: Tsumugi Shirogane: Hello everyone!Rantaro Amami: just a psa, inviting kokichi to this gc was a terrible ideakokichi oma: fuck yeah it wasTsumugi Shirogane: Well, I can handle it. I plan to invite some even more intense characters.Shuichi Saihara: What.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, Amami Rantaro/K1-B0/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, K1-B0/Oma Kokichi, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi, Kuwata Leon/Naegi Makoto, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Probably More - Relationship, Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, Sonia Nevermind/Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham, Sonia Nevermind/Tanaka Gundham, idk man - Relationship
Comments: 31
Kudos: 357





	1. tsumugi makes a terrible decision

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is my first ao3 work. ive always enjoyed chatfics. so i made one myself!  
> this'll be very very gay  
> hope u enjoy

**Tsumugi Shirogane created Hope's Peak Academy  
Tsumugi Shirogane added 16 people  
Tsumugi Shirogane removed admin rights from 14 people**  
Rantaro Amami: ahaha. i reign supreme  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Hello everyone!  
  
Rantaro Amami: just a psa, inviting kokichi to this gc was a terrible idea  
  
kokichi oma: fuck yeah it was  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Well, I can handle it. I plan to invite some even more intense characters.  
  
Shuichi Saihara: What.  
  
**Tsumugi Shirogane added 4 people**  
**Tsumugi Shirogane added 12 people**  
  
Hajime Hinata: What the fuck  
  
Makoto Naegi: !!! HAJIME! LANGUAGE  
  
Hajime Hinata: sorry Naegi but wtf  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Sorry for the suddenness guys! But this _is_ a groupchat for Hope's Peak. Why doesn't everyone introduce themselves? Class 78, you can go first.  
  
Makoto Naegi: Ok!! Hi, im Makoto Naegi. Im the Shsl lucky student!!  
  
Byakuya Togami: Also known as the SHSL Ultimate Moron.  
  
Makoto Naegi: :( Togami..  
  
Byakuya Togami: What? Anyways, I'm Byakuya Togami. You've probably heard of me before.  
  
kokichi oma: .. nah  
  
Byakuya Togami: .  
  
Byakuya Togami: ANYWAYS, I'm the SHSL Affluent Progeny.  
  
Chihiro: Oh  
  
Chihiro: Hi. I'm Chihiro Fujisaki, SHSL Programmer.  
  
Ishimaru: HELLO I AM KIYOTAKA ISHIMARU, SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL PUBLIC MORALS COMMITTEE MEMBER.  
  
Mondo: Tak, chill it on the caps. Im Mondo Oowada, shsl Gang leader.  
  
kokichi oma: oh~?  
  
Rantaro Amami: dont even think about it oma  
  
kokichi oma: :(((( u never let me have ANY fun  
  
Ishimaru: Sorry Mondo. This keyboard is very small.  
  
Byakuya Togami: Yeah, almost as small as your  
  
Byakuya Togami: There are no children here, correct?  
  
Kaede: Well, you could count Kiibo.  
  
Kiibo: KAEDE! THAT IS ROBOPHOBIC!  
  
kokichi oma: shut up ur like 2  
  
Byakuya Togami: Fine. I won't say it. But I'm sure you're all picking up what I'm putting down.  
  
Makoto Naegi: Im not. Wdym. Whats as small as his keyboard?  
  
Makoto Naegi: Hello?  
  
Makoto Naegi: Togami?  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Anyways! Let's move onto Class 77.  
  
Shuichi Saihara: Wait. Why did 78 introduce themselves before 77?  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: That doesn't matter. Hajime?  
  
Hajime Hinata: oh fuck  
  
Hajime Hinata: I MEAN FRICK  
  
Makoto Naegi: ... >:(  
  
Hajime Hinata: im hajime hinata. i dont have an ultimate shsl talent.  
  
kokichi oma: HAHA LOSER  
  
Nagito Komaeda: your talent is being amazing, hinata-kun!  
  
Hajime Hinata: thx..... why dont u introduce urself  
  
Nagito Komaeda: oh!! ok!! im nagito komaeda. im the shsl lucky student. but you probably dont care. im just trash after all  
  
Hajime Hinata: no, nagito, dont bring your self depreciation in here  
  
Nagito Komaeda: im sorry hinata-kun  
  
Hajime Hinata:   
  
Hajime Hinata: its ok  
  
Izuru Kamakura: Well, now that Hajime and Nagito are done being gay, I'm Izuru Kamakura. Ultimate Hope.  
  
Hajime Hinata: WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT  
  
Izuru Kamakura: Soda.  
  
SODA: WHAT NO I DIDNT HAHAHAHHA  
  
Hajime Hinata: LISTEN HERE SHARKTEETH IDK WHAT YOURE TEACHING MY BROTHER BUT YOU NEED TO STOP OR I WILL STAB YOU WITH MY AHOGE  
  
Gundham Tanaka: Hajime.  
  
Hajime Hinata: YOU DONT SCARE ME ICE CREAM HAIR  
  
Makoto Naegi: HAJIME HINATA! CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR ORANGE JUICE PRIVILEGES  
  
Hajime Hinata: .. sorry naegi  
  
Kaito Momota: What the fuck are you guys doing?  
  
kokichi oma: i like these people.  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Hajime, hush. The rest of you, come introduce yourselves.  
  
SODA: im kazuchi soda  
  
SODA: or is it souda  
  
SODA: whats my name  
  
SODA: WHATS MY NAME  
  
Gundham Tanaka: Soda, calm down. I'm Gundham Tanaka, Supreme Overlord of Ice.  
  
Princess Sonia Nevermind: Actually, he's Gundham Tanaka, Super High School Level Animal Breeder.  
  
Princess Sonia Nevermind: I'm Sonia Nevermind, Super High School Level Princess.  
  
chiaki: im chiaki nanami, shsl gamer and stop spamming my phone while im playing mario kart  
  
Shuichi Saihara: You could turn your phone off?  
  
chiaki: i could what now  
  
Teruteru: Im teruTeru Hanamura. ultimate bicon  
  
kokichi oma: have to step in here, um, actually shuichi is the ultimate bicon  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Actually, all the ahoeges are bicons.  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: I meant ahoge but that works too.  
  
Rantaro Amami: if i have 2 ahoges does that make me double bi  
  
Miu: we all know youre a fucking gay ass manwhore rantaro  
  
kokichi oma: shove it up your ass miu  
  
Miu: gladly!  
  
Shuichi Saihara: Kokichi, please do not give her any ideas. I've seen enough of her "maintenance" with Kiibo.  
  
kokichi oma: EW  
  
Rantaro Amami: oh god no  
  
Kaede: STOP  
  
Maki: ...  
  
Kaito Momota: SHUICHI NO.  
  
Kiibo: What?  
  
kokichi oma: oh nothing kiiboy, its just thatygtfrdrftrd  
  
Kaede: Maki tackled him before he could finish that sentence.  
  
kokichi oma: shuichi how do i make a cast  
  
Shuichi Saihara: WHAT  
  
Kaito Momota: Oh shit he dropped the punctuation  
  
Kaede: Maki's about to be snapped like a twig by all of his boyfriends.  
  
Hajime Hinata: .. what the fuck. anyways moving on uhh fuyuhiko?  
  
Peko Pekoyama: Fuyuhiko is currently very busy. So I will do it for him. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu's Talent is none of your concern whatsoever. I am Peko Pekoyama, and I will destroy anyone who dare bring harm to him.  
  
Kaito Momota: Geeez. this person takes a Kokichi-level protectiveness and runs with it  
  
kokichi oma: even with a broken arm, i will kill ANYONE who DARE harms my beloveds  
  
Kaede: I think they feel the same way  
  
Kaede: Its very hard to type and hold back rantaro and shuichi at the same time, so ill brb  
  
Kaito Momota: WHAT. NEITHER WILL HARM MY MAKIROLL  
  
Ryoma: shits about to go tf down  
  
Ibuki: IBUKI WILL GO NOW!! IBUKI IS SHSL MUSICIAN!!!  
  
Mikan Tsumiki: am i allowed to talk?  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Go ahead.  
  
Mikan Tsumiki: ok.. im mikan tsumiki, ultimate nurse   
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Okay. And now everyone else? I'll go first. I'm Tsumugi Shirogane, Ultimate Cosplayer, but you likely already knew that.  
  
Kaito Momota: Kaito Momota, LUMINARY OF THE STARS  
  
Kiibo: Ultimate Astronaut*.  
  
Kaito Momota: WHAT NO  
  
Kiibo: I'm K1-B0, but everyone has grown accustomed to calling me Kiibo. Ultimate Robot.  
  
kokichi oma: kokichi oma!! dont wear it out dickheads. ultimate supreme leader  
  
Kiibo: Shuichi Saihara, Rantaro Amami, and Kaede Akamatsu are all in a tough situation at the moment, so I will introduce them myself. Shuichi is the Ultimate Detective, Rantaro does not appear to have a talent, and Kaede is the Ultimate Pianist.  
  
kokichi oma: rantaros talent should be ultimate hottie  
  
Rantaro Amami: no being horny on main  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Can we appreciate he paused trying to attack Maki to say that?  
  
Maki: I'm Maki Harukawa. Ultimate Child Caregiver.  
  
kokichi oma: assassin*  
  
Maki: Do you want me to shatter your other arm?  
  
kokichi oma: nihihi  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Did he just type out his laugh  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Anyways! Is the rest of the class alive?  
  
Ryoma: im ryoma hoshi, ultimate tennis player  
  
Himiko: himiko yumeno, ultimate mage  
  
Tenko Chabashira: I'm Tenko Chabashira, Ultimate Aikido Master! So I'll defend Himiko from all you degenerate males!  
  
korekiyo: I'm Korekiyo Shinguji, Ultimate Anthropologist.   
  
ATUA: Angie Yonaga! Ultimate Artist and vessel for Atua!  
  
Hajime Hinata: who tf is atua  
  
kokichi oma: dont fucking ask  
  
gonta: gonta is gonta gokuhara! ultimate entomologist. but gonta try to be gentleman too!  
  
Kirumi Tojo: Kirumi Tojo, Ultimate Maid.  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: I think that's everyone?  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: Wait.  
  
JUNKO ENOSHIMA: NOPE! YOU MISSED SOMEONE  
  
**Hajime Hinata is offline.  
Makoto Naegi is offline.  
  
**JUNKO ENOSHIMA: FUCKING RUDE.  
  
Izuru Kamakura: Oh.  
  
JUNKO ENOSHIMA: OMG ITS IZURU!!! HOWS MY FAVORITE BITCH  
  
Izuru Kamakura: Not pleasant. No matter how hard I try to get away, you always come to find me once again.  
  
Tsumugi Shirogane: I.. Did not mean to invite her.  
  
JUNKO ENOSHIMA: WE'RE GONNA HAVE A DESPAIRFUL TIME.  
  
Nagito Komaeda: oh no.


	2. rat squad, assemble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kokichi oma: rat squad assemble
> 
> Byakuya Togami: Pardon? I am no rat.
> 
> kokichi: yeah you fucking are
> 
> Nagito Komaeda: am i a rat? hinata-kun, do you think im a rat?
> 
> Hajime Hinata: 100%
> 
> Nagito Komaeda: then i suppose.. squeak squeak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the rats talk. kokichi is gay. nagito is gay. hajime is embarrassed, and most importantly, makoto is ulti baby.  
> enjoy

Rantaro Amami: disclaimer: kokichi is a fucking rat

Mondo: so is togami, so its fine

Gundham Tanaka: Not pointing fingers, but Komaeda..

kokichi oma: rat squad assemble

Byakuya Togami: Pardon? I am no rat.

kokichi: yeah you fucking are

Nagito Komaeda: am i a rat? hinata-kun, do you think im a rat?

Hajime Hinata: 100%

Nagito Komaeda: then i suppose.. squeak squeak.

**Tsumugi Shirogane has changed 32 nicknames**

oj ahoge: wtf

oj ahoge: oh

Guacamole: not cool, shirogane. not cool.

purple rat: HAHA

Glasses Rat: What the hell?

hope rat: oh.. i do like hope..

Detective Ahoge: Is my hair really that noticeable?

Luminary: Not to be rude Shuichi but you look like a piranha.

purple rat: shut the hell up kaito you look like a pineapple on heavy substances

Piano Thot: HAHAH

Piano Thot: Oh. Tsumugi, why

Horny Thot: i enjoy this name thank u mommy tsumugi

Tin Can: I was not aware Tsumugi was your mother.

Tin Can: .

Tin Can: THIS IS ROBOPHOBIC!

purple rat: HEY. only im allowed to make robot jokes you asshole

Armbreaker: Shut up, Kokichi.

Armbreaker: ...

purple rat: AHAHHAHAHAHA

Detective Ahoge: I am still very upset over that.

purple rat: awwww, saihara-chan loves me!!!

Detective Ahoge: I never said that!

purple rat: so you dont.. love me?

purple rat: ..

purple rat: i might just cry

Detective Ahoge: No, wait, Kokichi, I didn't mean it like that.

purple rat: IM KIDDING !!! but im still sad so u better come cuddle me and then maybe ill forgive u

Detective Ahoge: Oh.. um.. alright.

Guacamole: ha gayyyy

Horny Thot: i saw you walking out of kokichis room last night, rantaro.

Guacamole: ..

Guacamole: no you didnt

Tin Can: Sometimes Kokichi comes into my room at night and sleeps on my bed. His room heater is broken.

Cosplayer: But Kokichi's heater works just fine!

Cosplayer: Oh. Wait.

Guacamole: kokichi has a "bad habit" of weaseling his way into my bed while im asleep

Maid Mommy: Then why, when I come to wake you, are you holding him in your arms?

Guacamole: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Horny Thot: dayum i started a rantaro exposing chain

oj ahoge: i have 0 clue whats going on

SODA: OH OH are we revealing gays because once i went to to wake up hajime

oj ahoge: DONT YOU FUCKING DARE SODA

SODA: hes not there, so i ask izuru "wheres your brother" and izuru says "with komaeda"

oj ahoge: IZURU!

Talent God: What?

SODA: so i go to nagitos room and on his bed

oj ahoge: hHHHHHHHHHH

SODA: i just see hajime laying there with what looks like a microwaved piece of foam soap in his arms

SODA: but its actually just nagitos hair

SODA: and nagito and him are cuddled up to one another in his bed

**oj ahoge is offline**

hope rat: oh i was not aware you

hope rat: um

hope rat: saw that

hope rat: you see i fell asleep on the beach and i woke up because i felt someone pick me up

hope rat: and it was actually hinata-kun and he said "why the hell are you sleeping on the beach, you dumbass?" and i was very tired and confused so i wasnt sure how to reply

hope rat: and he took me to his cabin annd he laid me down

hope rat: aand he got in next to me,,,,,,,

hope rat: he is very warm, and his hands are very soft

Guacamole: i feel like im reading a really descriptive shipfic is this legal

Piano Thot: That was very, very cute

purple rat: ha gay

Horny Thot: says the man who sleeps with 3 other dudes every night

purple rat: fuck you miu

Horny Thot: no way. i have SOME standards.

hope rat: apologizes, hinata-kun says i should not have told you all that

SODA: wait are you with him

hope rat: yes! in his freetime sometimes hinata-kun comes to see me

hope rat: apologizes again. he also says i should not tell you that either

baby ahoge: Aw

baby ahoge: wait

baby ahoge: What does this nickname mean

Cosplayer: You are one of the Ahoge Trio, and you are baby.

baby ahoge: Im not a baby. im a teenager.

Glasses Rat: You are very much baby.

SODA: big baby

Mondo: ultimate lucky baby

Ishimaru: I do not know what that means, but yes, you are baby, Makoto!

baby ahoge: :(


	3. kokichi bullies everyone (or more directly nagito)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> purple rat: god i am so so very gay
> 
> Guacamole: @ me next time huh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boyo,,, 
> 
> kokichi is a poopoo and thats the tea

purple rat: god i am so so very gay  
  
Guacamole: @ me next time huh  
  
purple rat: silence top  
  
Piano Thot: Everyone here is gay Kokichi  
  
purple rat: no heteros allowed  
  
purple rat: kaito momota that means u  
  
Luminary: WHAT NO FUCK U  
  
Horny Thot: did some1 say fuck  
  
purple rat: no go back to hell  
  
Guacamole: they prolly kicked her out for tryna fuck the devil  
  
purple rat: but like what them horns do o//o  
  
Luminary: don't ever fucking say that again or I'll skin you.  
  
Detective Ahoge:   
  
Guacamole:  
  
Luminary: KIDDING KIDDING AHAHAHHA............  
  
Horny Thot: bro kaitos a dead man  
  
Glasses Rat: So you have chosen death.  
  
baby ahoge: no no no death  
  
Glasses Rat: .. This is a fucking killing game, Naegi.  
  
baby ahoge: togami...................  
  
oj ahoge: what  
  
purple rat: BRO THE NAGITO FUCKER SHOWS HIS FACE  
  
 **oj ahoge is offline**  
  
hope rat: be nice to hinata-kun.  
  
purple rat: whatre u gonna do?????? throw hope at me  
  
SODA: i wouldnt test it, man. usually hes passive but when it comes to hajime..  
  
Piano Thot: Sounds like two other dudes I know.  
  
Horny Thot: RANTARO SHUICHI WERE TALKING SHIT ABOUT YOUR GAY ASSES  
  
Guacamole: what  
  
Guacamole: HEY  
  
Detective Ahoge:   
  
hope rat: besides, he doesnt  
  
hope rat: he isnt a "nagito fucker" as you put it  
  
hope rat: we have never.. "fucked"  
  
hope rat: im just scum after all  
  
oj ahoge: hey hey no  
  
purple rat: he returns to save his self deprecating boyfriend..... alas...........................................  
  
Detective Ahoge: Kokichi.  
  
purple rat: or maybe hes saying no to the not fucking part.. nihihi  
  
Detective Ahoge: _Kokichi._  
  
purple rat: or maybeeeeeee his little boytoys just scum after all!!  
  
Detective Ahoge: KOKICHI.  
  
oj ahoge: .. not cool man  
  
purple rat: honestly i thijuhygtfygygy  
  
Guacamole: oma  
  
Guacamole: oma  
  
Guacamole: kokichi.  
  
Guacamole: shit  
  
SODA: thats not good  
  
SODA: maybe nagito killed him..  
  
Guacamole: what the FUCK  
  
SODA: SORRY WAS JUST SAYING  
  
Hamster Guy: But does Nagito have the physical strength to do so?  
  
Horny Thot: kokichis a tiny little shit a five year old could shatter his spine  
  
Piano Thot: Shes not lying..  
  
Cosplayer: UHYGTFRTFTVGVYGYHUIUGFRDTD  
  
Guacamole: what  
  
Cosplayer: WHY DID SHUICHI JUST STORM INTO THE DINING HALL DRAGGING KOKICHI BY THE LEG???  
  
Guacamole: WHAT  
  
Cosplayer: NOW HES LECTURING KOKICHI ON "RESPECTING OTHERS" I AM IN TEARS  
  
Guacamole: ... oh, ok, omas safe. alright  
  
Guacamole: because if anything had happened to him  
  
oj ahoge: dont even think about it avocado boy  
  
SODA: protective boyf  
  
oj ahoge: SHUT UP  
  
hope rat: i would never do something to kokichi oma! unless it were for hope... then  
  
Guacamole: i will shatter both your arms and then feed them to you  
  
hope rat: nevermind  
  
purple rat: saihara-chan yells very loud  
  
Guacamole: trust me i know  
  
Guacamole: wait  
  
Horny Thot: AHHAHAHAHHA  
  
Guacamole: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT  
  
Horny Thot: GOD AHAHHAHAHAH  
  
Horny Thot: I CANT BELIEVE RANTARO AMAMI RAMS SHUICHI SAIHARA AHAHAHHAHA  
  
Guacamole: MIU IRUMA I SWEAR  
  
Piano Thot: Dont swear. its rude.. detective fucker  
  
Guacamole: NOT YOU TOO  
  
Bugboy: gonta does not understand?  
  
piranha: dont worry about it big guy  
  
piranha:  
  
piranha: fuck you tsumugi  
  
Cosplayer: :(  
  
Detention4U: "Ramming" and murder are both very much not allowed in a school environment.   
  
icecream cone: HAHAHAHA TAKAS NAME  
  
Detention4U: What? What do you mean?  
  
Detention4U: ..  
  
icecream cone: HAHAHAHHAHAHAH  
  
Talent God: Quick query, what should I do if I wish to access my room, but Hajime and Nagito are blocking the hallway?  
  
purple rat: what are they doing in that hallway huh ;)))))  
  
Talent God: Nagito is crying. Hajime is holding him. They are both about half the width of the hallway, so them together is blocking my path.  
  
Guacamole: oma you made hopeboy cry >:((  
  
purple rat: RANTARO dont u go lecturing me i got enough from shuichi. i think my ears are bleeding  
  
Detective Ahoge: I apologize for being loud, but you need to be nicer.  
  
purple rat: fiNNE shumai whATEVER  
  
SODA: isnt shumai like a food  
  
SODA: teruteru?  
  
FoodWhore: yuh  
  
FoodWhore: oh ho ho i like this nickname ;))) id gladly be a food whore~  
  
Gundham Tanaka: Do not be "horny on main".  
  
SODA: gund bb  
  
Gundham Tanaka: Yes?  
  
SODA: dont ever use that term again ok  
  
Absolute Baby: What the heck are you all doing?  
  
Absolute Baby: Oh.  
  
Detention4U: Chihiro?  
  
Absolute Baby: Yeah.. it's me.  
  
icecream cone: HAHAHAH fitting  
  
Absolute Baby: >.>  
  
Tin Can: Miu taught me how to use those emoticon things. Give me a moment.  
  
Tin Can: 👉👌💦  
  
Guacamole: kiibs  
  
Tin Can: Yes?  
  
Guacamole: dont ever let miu teach you anything ever again ok?  
  
Tin Can: Is something wrong?  
  
Guacamole: yes. very wrong  
  
purple rat: never thought id live to see the day kiibo used those emojis in that order  
  
Tin Can: What? What does it mean?  
  
Detective Ahoge: MOVING ALONG, is Nagito Komaeda okay?  
  
hope rat: you really shouldnt worry about scum like muhygfttu  
  
hope rat: sorry hinata-kun grabbed my phone mid word  
  
hope rat: what i was trying to say was ijuhygtfr  
  
hope rat: hinata-kun doesnt like it when i talk bad about myself  
  
SODA: aw protective boyfriend  
  
hope rat: but yes i am okay shuichi, thank you  
  
Detective Ahoge: Good to hear. I apologize on behalf of Kokichi.  
  
purple rat: :<  
  
GamerGirlxxx: are nagito and hajime being hopeless gays again  
  
GamerGirlxxx: ha hopeless  
  
SODA: dont say the h-word around nagito remember  
  
GamerGirlxxx: shit  
  
baby ahoge: CHIAKI!! NOT YOU TOO!! LANGUAGE  
  
purple rat: is makoto naegi the swear police  
  
purple rat: fuck shit   
  
baby ahoge: I can only maintain my friends, but i take the swearing personally to heart  
  
purple rat: good.  
  
Detective Ahoge: Kokichi.  
  
purple rat: OK OK ILL STOP  
  
  
12:00 am  
  
purple rat: what would happen if you swallowed barbie heels whole  
  
Horny Thot: wtf  
  
Guacamole: youd become barbie.. on the inside  
  
Detective Ahoge: Rantaro! Kokichi! Go to bed!  
  
purple rat: make us  
  
Detective Ahoge: I will.  
  
Horny Thot: g a y s  
  
Piano Thot: Big gay  
  
purple rat: update: we are all now im shuichis bed. i am trapped between a lonk emo and a stronk emo. pls send help  
  
Horny Thot: suffer, bottom  
  
Tin Can: Would you all mind if I joined?  
  
Guacamole: kiibs if you DONT join i will be personally offended  
  
Tin Can: :)


	4. makoto protection squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leon makes an entrance, everyones an orphan, kork is kokichis legal guardian and mondo and ishimaru are gay

baby ahoge: Is anyone online  
  
Piano Thot: UMMMM IM SORRY BUT ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE the EXTREMELY GAY MESSAGES WITH RANTARO SHUICHI KOKICHI AND KIIBO LAST NIGHT  
  
Horny Thot: Home of sectionals  
  
Tin Can: What do you mean?  
  
Piano Thot: youre all really gay thats what i mean  
  
Guacamole: kaede i stfg  
  
ATUA: Do not swear to God or God will break you like the little bitch you are.  
  
Guacamole: oh  
  
purple rat: ATUA CAN CATCH THESE HANDS!! BITCH  
  
baby ahoge: Uh  
  
baby ahoge: Anyways i have a question  
  
Piano Thot: Whats up makoto?  
  
baby ahoge: Sorry if this is an intrusive question but  
  
baby ahoge: Does your class have "No Parents" syndrome too?  
  
purple rat: what  
  
baby ahoge: Like my class and Hajimes class, almost everyone there has no parents

purple rat: kiyo is my dad

purple rat: kiyo wya

Seance: Yes, Kokichi?

purple rat: thank u for being my parent

Seance: You're welcome. :)

Piano Thot: Kork is group parent

Piano Thot: along with kirumi

purple rat: uhm kork is my legal guardian get ur own dad

Seance: Alright, then.

Guacamole: i have parents  
  
Detective Ahoge: I  
  
Detective Ahoge: Don't have parents. Just my uncle.

Guacamole: lmao why is the chat so deadbaby ahoge: IM SORRY THAT WAS INTRUSIVE  
  
baby ahoge: SORRY  
  
baseBALLS: nah egg ur fine  
  
baby ahoge: .. egg?  
  
Horny Thot: who the hell is that  
  
Horny Thot: i like their nickname >:)  
  
baby ahoge: Leon!! did you not introduce yourself  
  
baseBALLS: nah  
  
baseBALLS: also um  
  
baseBALLS: i dont appreciate the nick  
  
Guacamole: hahah balls  
  
baseBALLS: >:(  
  
baby ahoge: Leonnn  
  
baseBALLS: ye  
  
baby ahoge: Introduce urself :)  
  
baseBALLS: im uHhhHHHH leon kuwata  
  
baseBALLS: ultimate baseball fucker or whatever  
  
Horny Thot: you fuck baseballs  
  
baseBALLS: no  
  
baseBALLS: what  
  
baseBALLS: is that even possible  
  
baby ahoge: what  
  
baseBALLS: nothing egg  
  
baby ahoge: egg?????  
  
baseBALLS: you are egg  
  
baby ahoge: What does this mean leon  
  
baseBALLS: naEGGi  
  
Glasses Rat: Are Leon and Makoto being gay again?  
  
baseBALLS: WHAT  
  
baseBALLS: NO  
  
baseBALLS: I AM NOT  
  
baseBALLS: EXCUSE ME  
  
purple rat: sounds like something a gay person would say >:3c  
  
Horny Thot: furry  
  
purple rat: u prolly try to fuck chuck e cheese mascots  
  
Horny Thot: kys  
  
purple rat: shuichi wont let me  
  
Horny Thot: . oh  
  
Luminary: OK you know what Im curious  
  
Luminary: Say i if u want to die  
  
purple rat: i  
  
Detective Ahoge: I  
  
Guacamole: i  
  
hope rat: i  
  
oj ahoge: i  
  
hope rat: HINATA KUN ABSOLUTELY NOT  
  
oj ahoge: you cant stop me  
  
hope rat: hinata kun! you cant die  
  
oj ahoge: whys that  
  
hope rat: because   
  
hope rat: even if im scum  
  
hope rat: id still miss you  
  
SODA: aWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
  
Guacamole: most adorable thing ive seen  
  
purple rat: hey  
  
Guacamole: 2nd most adorable  
  
purple rat: :)  
  
Cosplayer: OK you know what  
  
**Cosplayer has changed 2 names**  
  
loves hope: what?  
  
is hope:   
  
is hope: did you just  
  
purple rat: hAHHAHAH  
  
Horny Thot: tsumugi ily  
  
Cosplayer: begone thot  
  
Horny Thot: FUGGIN RUDE  
  
baby ahoge: :(  
  
baseBALLS: oi  
  
baseBALLS: dont swear  
  
baseBALLS: the egg doesnt fuckin like it  
  
baseBALLS: wait shit  
  
baseBALLS: goddammit  
  
baseBALLS: I  
  
Piano Thot: F in the chat boys  
  
baby ahoge: well  
  
baby ahoge: im happy you tried :))  
  
baseBALLS: oh  
  
baseBALLS: thx then  
  
Cosplayer: WAIT WAIT  
  
**Cosplayer has changed baseBALLS' name to makoto protection squad president**  
  
makoto protection squad president: WHAT  
  
baby ahoge: I have a protection squad  
  
baby ahoge: ?  
  
is hope: yes it consists of everyone. every person  
  
Talent God: Meetings take place every other week in the empty classroom on the second floor.  
  
Talent God: We used to meet in the gym, until.  
  
is hope: oh yeah  
  
Ishimaru: WE ARE NOT GOING TO DISCUSS THAT  
  
Mondo: discuss what  
  
Mondo: oh  
  
Mondo: shit  
  
purple rat: whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat happeneeeeeeeeeeeeeeed?????????????????????/////////////////??????????????????////??/??'//////////  
  
Talent God: Your over-usage and mis-usage of punctuation is quite annoying.  
  
Talent God: Anyways, what happened was we walked into the gym to prepare for our meeting.  
  
Talent God: Now, Chihiro Fujisaki and Aoi Asahina had said Kiyotaka Ishimaru and Mondo Oowada had entered the gym minutes before, we assumed to be early to the meeting, knowing Ishimaru's tendencies.   
  
Talent God: When we entered the gym, they were there.  
  
**Ishimaru has gone offline.  
  
Mondo has gone offline.**  
  
Talent God: Ah.  
  
Talent God: Besides that, we found them  
  
Talent God: Hajime what's the term?  
  
is hope: uh what  
  
is hope: OH making out  
  
Talent God: Yes. They were 'making out'. On a wall. In the middle of the gym. In front of us.  
  
purple rat: NIHHHUHUH DAYUM  
  
Guacamole: why do his keysmashes also look like his laugh  
  
Horny Thot: !!!!!!! HOLY SHIT KOKICHIS A BOTTOM  
  
purple rat: WHAT  
  
Horny Thot: @everyone  
  
Horny Thot: KOKICHI OMA IS A BOTTOM!!!  
  
Tin Can: What?  
  
Glasses Rat: Did I need to know this?  
  
mage: m tryn sleep  
  
GamerGirlxxx: me 2  
  
Ms Detective: It is 2pm.  
  
mage: so  
  
HI-YA: Don't judge Himiko's sleeping patterns! Only a degenerate male would do such a thing!  
  
makoto protection squad president: whats that supposed to mean  
  
HI-YA: >:( ARE YOU A MALE  
  
makoto protection squad president: what the fuck does degenerate mean  
  
makoto protection squad president: frick* sorry egg  
  
baby ahoge: Leoooonn  
  
Glasses Rat: Gay.  
  
baby ahoge: anyways why do i have a protection squad???????  
  
makoto protection squad president: because you deserve to be protected at all times  
  
Talent God: Those who harm you deserve death.  
  
baby ahoge: WHOA A LIL EXTREME  
  
Talent God: It is the truth.  
  
GamerGirlxxx: o m gee gays  
  
GamerGirlxxx: izuru?? CARING ABOUT SOMEONE?? which dimension am i in  
  
Talent God: I do not care for Makoto.  
  
baby ahoge: :(  
  
makoto protection squad president: HEY  
  
Talent God: I simply enjoy his presence.  
  
is hope: wow i cannote beleave izuru is in deep love with makoto naegi ultimate lucky student  
  
loves hope: luck? hm?  
  
baby ahoge: WHAT  
  
makoto protection squad president: excuse me  
  
Talent God: I don't?  
  
is hope: you totally love him   
  
Talent God: No.  
  
is hope: lovelovelovelovelovelove  
  
baby ahoge: um  
  
baby ahoge: Im confused  
  
makoto protection squad president: dont listen egg  
  
baby ahoge: alright..  
  
Horny Thot: OOOOO ball boy is gettin JEALOUUUS  
  
makoto protection squad president: WHAT  
  
purple rat: um excuse me only IM allowed to be gay on main  
  
purple rat: @Detective Ahoge @Guacamole @Tin Can ily  
  
Ms Detective: Excuse me Mondo and Kiyotaka also have said rights? Thank you  
  
Detective Ahoge: Kokichi. Don't joke around like that.  
  
Guacamole: wow i love u too u dumb shit  
  
purple rat: :(  
  
Tin Can: What?  
  
purple rat: wowe....... i am so sade.......... nobody love me.............  
  
Horny Thot: and nobody ever will  
  
Luminary: And nobody ever will  
  
Armbreaker: And nobody ever will.  
  
purple rat:   
  
**purple rat is offline.**  
  
Detective Ahoge: You guys.  
  
Guacamole: its ok shu i got it  
  
Detective Ahoge: Thank you Rantaro.  
  
Guacamole: ily ;)  
  
Detective Ahoge: Rantaro!  
  
is hope: u see that? that bein gay on main  
  
Talent God: Hajime, you are consistently "gay on main". Exhibit A: @loves hope  
  
loves hope: yyes   
  
Talent God: Homosexuals.  
  
SODA: ok but izuru lowkey popped off  
  
is hope: souda kazuichi you piece of robotfucking shit did you teach my brother what gay on main meant  
  
SODA: WHAT NO OH LOOK MONOMIS COMING GOTTA GO   
  
**SODA is offline.**  
  
baby ahoge: HAJIME LANGUAGE  
  
Horny Thot: wow souda can join shuichi rantaro and kokichi in the robotfucker club  
  
Tin Can: What?  
  
Horny Thot: nothin kiib  
  
Tin Can: Okay?  
  
**purple rat is online.**  
  
Guacamole: miu maki kaito stop being bitches  
  
Horny Thot: fuck u  
  
Luminary: Rantaro how dare you  
  
Armbreaker: No.  
  
purple rat: yeah i totally had a murderous breakdown and killed 56 people  
  
baby ahoge: W H A T  
  
purple rat: that was a lie  
  
baby ahoge: good  
  
purple rat: OR wAS IT  
  
baby ahoge: WHAT  
  
makoto protection squad president: i think hes lying  
  
Guacamole: dont worry he is  
  
Luminary: Then what _was_ he doing offline?  
  
Guacamole: ah  
  
Guacamole: none of your business  
  
Luminary: :(  
  
Detective Ahoge: @purple rat Could you stop by my lab for a bit?  
  
purple rat: shore shumaiiii  
  
Horny Thot: wow kokichis boutta be fucked out of his miiind  
  
Detective Ahoge: Miu! No!  
  
oj ahoge: hey btw why did leon just suddenly like.. start talking  
  
Cosplayer: Maybe he was just too busy. Or maybe it's just plot convenience.  
  
oj ahoge: what  
  
Cosplayer: :) 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took so long to get out!! ive been rlly busy
> 
> tsumugi breaks the 4th wall to jab at me at the end haha,,,,,,,, since ive seen more dr and have gotten better grips on the characters some characters who didnt even like, exist before will prolly start talking
> 
> sowwy


	5. gsa but its just gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CRAWLS FROM THE GRAVE I COME BEARING GIFTS
> 
> sorry i mcfuckIN DIED!! hope this makes up for it
> 
> i need to update a few relationship roles/fix some of the past chapters but.. here u go........ i fucking remembered this existed bc it showed up in the tags and i saw the comments (thank u 2 the people who reminded me to update this by commenting)

**1:57 A.M.**  
  
makoto protection squad president: its 2 am and i have lost all sense of time or emotion. i am with the earth now  
  
Seance: I do not know who you are, but I agree. You have taken my thoughts and placed them out in writing.  
  
Guacamole: like a mad weed acid trip  
  
is hope: i kin that sentence  
  
loves hope: hinata-kun! go to sleep!  
  
is hope: you are right next 2 me u do not have 2 text that out  
  
Guacamole: hes next to you :eyes emoji:  
  
Seance: Did you just type out eyes emoji?  
  
Guacamole: yes i did  
  
is hope: i did not say anything ok goodnight  
  
 **is hope has gone offline.**  
  
Talent God: Why are you all awake? Go to sleep.  
  
loves hope: yyES IZURU  
  
Horny Thot: BRO nagito canonically izurus little bitch i think so  
  
Talent God: No. Komaeda is Hajime's bitch.  
  
 **Talent God has gone offline.**  
  
Horny Thot: OOP  
  
Guacamole: HAHAH HOLY SHIT  
  
  
 **3:34 A.M.**  
  
Guacamole: our finers hav fingr tipz........................... but our tors dnot hav toe tipz... stil we tiptoe  
  
Horny Thot: what drugz r u on and can i have ur dealers info  
  
Tin Can: Rantaro! I insist you go to sleep. Your lack of sleep is making you type incoherently.  
  
Horny Thot: when does he type coherently??????  
  
Guacamole: anything for u bb  
  
Tin Can: "bb"?  
  
Horny Thot: BRUH HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT RANTARO AMAMI ROBOT FUCKER HAHAHHA  
  
 **Guacamole has gone offline.**  
  
 **Horny Thot has gone offline.**  
  
Tin Can: Oh well.  
  
 **Tin Can has gone offline.**  
  
  
 **3:42 A.M.**  
  
baby ahoge: leon im coming 2 ur room @makoto protection squad president  
  
makoto protection squad president: why?? another nightmare?  
  
baby ahoge: yyes  
  
makoto protection squad president: alright. ill unlock my door  
  
 **baby ahoge has gone offline.**  
  
makoto protection squad president: i love you  
  
 **makoto protection squad president has gone offline.**  
  
  
 **8:24 A.M.**  
  
detention4u: I understand it may be difficult to rest, but I implore you all to sleep the right hours and not be up at 3 A.M.!  
  
icecream cone: nah babe its ok nobody goes 2 class anyways  
  
detention4u: .. What?  
  
icecream cone: didnt say anything haha bye  
  
detention4u: Mondo?  
  
detention4u: Mondo?  
  
detention4u: Mondo, get back here!  
  
makoto protection squad president: thats kinda gay  
  
Glasses Rat: Leon, you're one to talk.  
  
makoto protection squad president: WWHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??  
  
Glasses Rat: You know what I mean.  
  
makoto protection squad president: YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING! STUPID STUPID STUPID  
  
Cosplayer: oh that reminds me! gotta make a few changes  
  
 **Cosplayer has changed 2 names.**  
  
Cosplayer: @rich homo @evil homo  
  
evil homo: fuckin nice  
  
rich homo: I mean.. you're not incorrect.  
  
 **Cosplayer has added komaru and 5 others to the chat.**  
  
baby ahoge: K O MA RU!!  
  
komaru: MAKOTO!! (?)  
  
baby ahoge: yeah. i am now a baby  
  
komaru: u are  
  
no rights writer: kkkkomaru?  
  
komaru: TOKO??  
  
no rights writer: TTOKO!!  
  
komaru: 💞💞💞  
  
masaru daimon: EWWWWWW NAGISA KOMARUS BEING ALL ROMANTIC AGAIN!!! MAKE HER STOPPP  
  
nagisa shingetsu: Unfortunately, I believe she'll just continue.  
  
masaru daimon: :(  
  
nagisa shingetsu: Sorry >:(  
  
masaru daimon: DONT BE MAD YOU STINKER  
  
kotoko utsugi: what is this???????????  
  
loves hope: oh.. haha.. komaru and the warriors of hope..  
  
JUNKO ENOSHIMA: AYE YOOOOO  
  
masaru daimon: sister junko!  
  
nagisa shingetsu: Sister Junko.  
  
kotoko utsugi: sister junko,,  
  
jataro kemuri: sister junko  
  
monaca towa: :)  
  
JUNKO ENOSHIMA: MY CH I LD R EN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Detective Ahoge: What is happening?  
  
Cosplayer: it's Makoto's sister and the Warriors Of Hope! normie  
  
Detective Ahoge: Oh.  
  
evil homo: OI dont call my sweet, dear, beloved shuichi a normie or me and my super secret evil organization will punt ur bitch ass into the next dimension  
  
komaru: THERE ARE CHILDREN WHO EVEN ARE YOU  
  
evil homo: YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM??????? IM SO VERY OFFENDED  
  
baby ahoge: hes in class 79 komaru  
  
komaru: i see  
  
 **Cosplayer has changed 1 person's name.**  
  
megaphone: epic thanks very much  
  
megaphone: anyways i gotta go. very busy love u toko bye  
  
no rights writer: ii lovve yyou ttoo  
  
 **megaphone has gone offline.**  
  
nagisa shingetsu: Yes. We're with Komaru. Goodbye.  
  
 **nagisa shingetsu has gone offline.**  
  
 **kotoko utsugi has gone offline.**  
  
 **jataro kemuri has gone offline.**  
  
 **monaca towa has gone offline.**  
  
 **masaru daimon as gone offline.**  
  
doughnuts!!: besides that, why did makoto just leave leons dorm?  
  
rich homo: WHAT  
  
Cosplayer: :flushed emoji: PPARDON  
  
Guacamole: u clowns. u absolute fools. if u had read up the logs, u wouldve seen  
  
rich homo: Damn ok stfu avocado bowl  
  
Guacamole: >:(  
  
doughnuts!!: he even dropped the proper speech damn  
  
evil homo: im killing so many people here for disrespecting my true loves  
  
evil homo: @Guacamole @Detective Ahoge @Tin Can marry me you cowards  
  
Guacamole: already done  
  
Tin Can: HUH WHAT  
  
Detective Ahoge: I already told you not to joke like that, Kokichi..  
  
Piano Thot: DAYUM youre all helpless  
  
Detective Ahoge: What does that mean??  
  
Piano Thot: nothing hehehehe  
  
Horny Thot: >:)  
  
evil homo: where her piano gf goes the cum dumpster is soon to follow  
  
Horny Thot: CCUM DUMPSTER......................  
  
Piano Thot: KOKICHI SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I ROUNDHOUSE YOU  
  
HYA: KOKICHI SHUT UP OR TENKO WILL NEO AIKIDO YOU INTO THE STRATOSPHERE  
  
Luminary: DID SOMEONE SAY SPACE  
  
evil homo: KAITO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU HOMO  
  
Detective Ahoge: Isn't Kaito in a relationship with Maki?  
  
Luminary: yeah uhh about that  
  
Armbreaker: We had a talk. It's not going to work out.  
  
Detective Ahoge: Oh?  
  
Piano Thot: how come?  
  
Piano Thot: miu dont fucking twist that this is a serious moment  
  
Horny Thot: >:( FINE FINE!! but only for u sexy xoxo  
  
Piano Thot: xoxo  
  
Luminary: because uhm.......  
  
Armbreaker: He's gay. I'm gay.  
  
HYA: THE POWER OF LESBIANS SUMMONS TENKO!  
  
Luminary: .. yyeah..........  
  
Luminary: please dont make fun of me  
  
Luminary: please  
  
evil homo: oh  
  
evil homo: OH  
  
evil homo: !!!!!!!!!!! HE JOINS THE CLUB! HE JOINS THE CLUB @Guacamole @HYA @ATUA @Horny Thot @Piano Thot   
  
evil homo: and who could forget hopes peaks token gayz @loves hope @is hope  
  
is hope: PARDON  
  
loves hope: haha........  
  
Guacamole: WELCOME TO THE CLUB HOMO  
  
HYA: even if you are a degenerate, tenko welcomes you! you too maki!!!! love you  
  
ATUA: how pleasant! god says this will be wonderful!  
  
Horny Thot: FUCK YEAH  
  
Piano Thot: homie we been knew  
  
Luminary: WHAT  
  
Piano Thot: with the way u look at shu its nothin new  
  
evil homo: HEY HANDS OFF MY MAN  
  
Detective Ahoge: Kokichi, for the last time!  
  
Guacamole: @Detective Ahoge have u ever considered nobody has been joking  
  
Detective Ahoge: .. What?  
  
 **Guacamole has gone offline.**  
  
evil homo: :flushed emoji: anyways what was ur guys GAY AWAKENINGS @ maki + kaito  
  
Luminary: well we just kinda sat down and talked about it because.. i felt weird and we figured out we didnt really? like eachother like that? like we were FRIENDS yeah but.. nothing more... and ive just been bottling up these feelings towards dudes for so long..  
  
Luminary: oops i said too much  
  
evil homo: ,  
  
evil homo: aw kaitooooooooooooooooooo  
  
evil homo: for onc ei kinda dont wanna hit u only a little tho  
  
Luminary: >:( thanks fucker  
  
Tin Can: I think that's great, Kaito!  
  
evil homo: anywwwaaaysss whos ur super hot man crushhh i bet its nekomaru  
  
Luminary: IITS NOT!!!!!!!!!! HES IN THE GRADE ABOVE US THATD BE WEIRD........... and its none of ur business goblin boy  
  
evil homo: >:(  
  
evil homo: rude  
  
Cosplayer: hehe  
  
 **Cosplayer has changed 1 name.**  
  
space homo: i dont like the fact im matching names with fucking kokichi fucking ouma  
  
Guacamole: "kokichi fucking ouma" is a weird mental image  
  
space homo: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
  
Talent God: Is nobody going to mention..  
  
is hope: no no. i saw. and i know what to do  
  
\--  
  
 **hajime hinata has created a group chat.**  
  
 **hajime hinata has added 6 people.**  
  
 **hajime hinata has renamed the chat "The Naewata Project".**  
  
hajime hinata: [beetlejuice voice] its show time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so kaito and maki are gay.
> 
> and so are leon and makoto


End file.
